How His Secret Obsession Changed My Life
a book review from Sammie

His secret obsession

If you are anything like me, you are looking for that type of happiness that only true love can bring. I learned during many dating years that this is a hard mission to achieve and if you do reach it, it comes after a lot of frustration and suffering. The hassle continued until I discovered “His secret obsession”. This dating course changed not only the way I understood men but also the way I maintained my relationships as much as I wanted and not the other way around. Men can be complex beings but I learned how to relate to their needs and deepest desires in order to keep their interest in me high and constant. And before I knew it, I could become any man’s obsession thanks to this amazing program wrapped in a well-written book! I wish someone told me about this book earlier so here is why I want to let you in this secret that will completely change your love life!

Where my emotional life was before “His secret obsession”

My name is Sammie and I am 35 years old journalist. My job requires me constansly moving, making me unable to keep my love life intact. And I know what you are thinking: 35 years is a challenging time in a woman’s life. Her biological clock is ringing and she feels the urge to settle down. But that’s hard to do without a steady relationship based on that kind of ever-lasting love. I was exactly in this point a few months ago when I just ended a relationship with Chris. Or maybe I should say that he ended it. With no reason. Or so I thought at the time since we seemed to be able to click in many levels. I feel like I had found the one, you know? I had then and still have now a successful career so all I needed from a man was love since I could take care of my life in other aspects. Not until later I understand that I expressed my love need completely wrong to Chris. He never felt needed or even wanted in my life as I was most of the time busy and self-sufficient. After he broke up with me over a phone call, I was left to guess what happened. We were dating for 6 months and there were no signs of such a drastic end in sight. 

I was devastated. I did not know what went wrong, was it just our honeymoon phase? I could not concentrate with my work at all. I need to know what happened to our relationship? I’m old, I can’t afford to lose another perfect man like Chris.

 When Sara, a close friend that I seldomly visit since I moved out of hometown saw me, she fell sorry upon seeing my blue state. Somehow Sara mentioned “His secret obsession”, her favorite dating book. I started reading it right away and reflected on my past relationship. Little by little, with the help of this book not only that I understood what went wrong but I also understood what I should change in my next love adventure. And after seeing how beneficial “His secret obsession” was for me, I felt the need to share it with other women in order to help them reach their happiness. Like I reached mine, with Justin. Me and him are together for 4 months now and I am sure it will not end in a similar fashion to my ex relationship! So let’s see how to get a man and keep him by following “His secret obsession” steps!

What is “His secret obsession”

First of all, “His secret obsession” is a book written by James Bauer, that will not only help you save your relationship and prevent a break up but it will also help you start and maintain a relationship in the best way. Just like this book helped me review my dating style, I am sure it can help all the women who find themselves in the position of being rejected or abandoned by their men. And unfortunately this happens a lot. But before you blame your partner for what seems to be a cruel behavior, try to understand where he comes from.

This guide lets women like you know the way a man’s mind works and the key phrases you can use to make it work in your advantage. And you don’t have to be a psychologist to do that. This book is split into two major parts, each one bringing its own valuable rules to the game of seduction.

The first part of the book refers to the Hero instinct that you, as a woman, should focus on when you want to attract a man and keep him interested in you completely. Most of us are able to start a relationship and things seem to work fairly easy for the first dates. We laugh, we hang out, maybe we get intimate, and then something happens. Something that we find it hard to understand and therefore repair. And that something is destroying what we have with our partner without even being our fault, or his for that matter. James Bauer calls that something, the lack of ”Hero instinct” stimulation. A woman needs to understand how this hero instinct works and how to keep it alive for her man to stick around in her life. And in this first part that is exactly what you will learn! In 11 sections you will understand what is the hero instinct, how to bring it to the surface of your man’s perception and how to avoid the most common things that can go wrong in your relationship.

Here are all the 11 sections of His secret obsession that you can read about and change the course of your relationship for the better:

  • The Secret Longing of Every Man
  • The Unspoken Desire He’ll Never Admit
  • Make Him See the Light
  • The Fascination Trigger
  • Why Men Say, “I’m just not ready”
  • How Your Desires Can Fascinate Him
  • The Secret Currency of Happy Relationships
  • Rocket Fuel: How to Build Relationship Momentum Fast
  • How To Become His Obsession
  • Get Deeper Intimacy by Revealing More
  • Three Things That Can Go Wrong (and how to fix them)

But it doesn’t stop here! As I moved forward to the second part of this dating course I discovered all the secrets that I needed to be aware off in order to trigger the level of chemistry I wanted to have with my partner. This Secret Signals part is vital for the positive outcome of a relationship and it showed me what I did wrong all along. The 6 sections that reveal this part are to be followed exactly in order to make your man fall in love with you and keep him that way!

The 6 sections are as it follows:

  • The Private Island
  • X-ray Question
  • The Glimpse Phrase
  • The Secret Currency of Happy Relationships
  • The ‘I Owe You’
  • The Damsel in Distress

Who is the Author Behind “His secret obsession”

James Bauer is a relationship counsellor with a broad experience of over 12 years. He worked with women of all ages who have relationship problems just like you and me. And just like his book helped me tremendously, it will help you in an efficient way. He studied couples and their problems while trying to find the best solution for what seemed to be different circumstances. However, he realized that the problems that make men refuse to commit or move forward in a relationship are rather common instead of being specific to each individual. They all need the hero instinct stimulated and entertained by their women. So he put together a book that helps women to speak the love language that their partner needs.

Summary of

The two parts of this book contain important secrets that will change the way you see and talk with your man completely. Most likely you did mistakes that you weren’t even aware of and all those little mistakes pushed your partner away even if your intentions were different. But don’t worry because I did them too and I am sure every woman who is actively dating and trying to find their soulmate would relate to us.

Just like the book cover says, this is a book that teaches women “how to get inside the mind of any man”. You will learn the secret text messages that you can and should send to your man in order to spark his curiosity and keep his interest active. By applying the secret phrases in this book he will never ignore you again! And if you are anything like me, you know that being ignored is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship. It usually is the beginning of the end as well.

You will understand the hero instinct and how to use it to make your man obsessed with you, which is the dream of every woman. To give you a flavour of this, I will tell you that a man should feel needed, and this is the whole secret of the hero instinct. But how to make your man feel needed is revealed in the pages of the book so you will have to discover it yourself. Try to make your man feel wanted and show him different ways to please you rather than the other way around. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t please him as well or pay attention to his needs but always try to prioritize yours. Men need to make a difference in their woman’s life but you have to give him the chance to do that!

All relationships take two people to be successful and in His secret obsession, you have the chance to see the man’s side of the equation. And this book is overall an actionable book which means you will have the chance to apply the tips you find inside of it.

You will learn to add meaning to your man’s life and make him feel wanted while you are not trying to change who he is. Because it is important to understand what your man is all about and not changing him for what you expect him to be.

I remember being able to rely to most of the real stories listed in this book thinking how useful would have been to read them years ago before wasting significant potential relationships because I wasn’t aware of the secrets of having a successful love story. In almost every section of the book you can find relevant examples that can be applied anytime! There are also valuable tips on how to avoid heartache and suffering that can come out of a failed relationship.

And these tips that you will find spread all over the His secret obsession book are suggested for different stages of a relationship. Which means you can use this guide if you want to enter a relationship or find yourself in the middle of one, as well as if you want to save it when you see it’s in danger.

As you read this book, you will come across hero instinct phrases that your man wants to hear from you and that will make him instantly addicted to you. Also, you will find obsession phrases that will make any guy be obsessed with you and never want to leave your side.

Benefits of

Even if this book is the best solution to not only keep your man but also start a good relationship, it comes with a variety of other benefits that can help you fix problems along the way. I was amazed to realize that every part of this book worked as soon as I applied it to my personal life.

You will learn how to interact with your man in order to obtain the desired outcome and improve your relationship. The book contains a multitude of secret phrases and texts that you can use on a daily basis to keep your guy hooked and obsessed with you.

Since the book is an applicable guide, you will learn how to put the concepts you find in it into practice in the most natural way possible.  And since it comes with 12 words or even 4 words messages to get your man’s attention, it is very easy to take the steps that need to be taken.

The author of the book makes an interesting parallel between women who act right in relationship with their man and those who miss the right signs and push their partners away. This parallel is based on examples that will definitely help you understand the difference between right and wrong when it comes to interacting with your lover or a man that you are interested in.

Also, the advices that you will find in this book are based on psychological studies and years of research so it is reliable and proven to work for most women.

Things that made “His secret obsession” work for me

I applied many of the example phrases in this book to my current relationship with Justin. And I am not talking about special situations at all. Basically, I got used to talk to him in a certain language that would make him feel wanted and even more than that, needed. And this became part of my routine when it comes to my relationship.

Justin knows that I rely on him and he is my first option to go to if I have a problem, which is a great proof of trust. Not only that, but we became a team thanks to this book and I learned to leave some of my self-sufficiency apart. And when arguments come up, I learned to deal with such situations in a productive way so these arguments bring us closer rather than damaging our emotional connection.

I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish all these aspects that significantly improved my emotional life, without “His secret obsession”. And I feel that I can talk more freely with Justin since I adapted my mind set to both our benefits and not just mine.

Conclusion

Every time I am having a problem with my partner, I apply the things I learned in this book and I am thankful for the way it changed my perspective on men altogether. This book might work like magic but you should understand that it is not magic. Personally, I recommend reading it twice instead of once and try to understand the methods presented by James Bauer. He explains them in a very pragmatic way so that you can easily understand each concept and why you should consider applying it.

Don’t just try to apply things that don’t make sense to you because most likely you will not reach the desired result of this book. Understanding what hero instinct is and why this primarily instinct drives a man in his life, will help you relate to your partner at a deeper level. Also, the text messages that you will find in the book can change your relationship 100 % if you choose the right time to use them.

It is all about mixing your natural feminine intuition with what your man needs from you in order to stick around. And what he needs is to be needed! I know it sounds simply but at a psychological level it might be more complex. However, this book walks you through all the chambers of a man’s mind and if you pay the attention that it deserves, you will have no problem improving your relationship! The author offers a 60 days money back policy if you are not satisfied with this book but I can’t imagine how this could happen. Now, this is my favourite book in my house and I often refer to it for valuable advice which makes me confident that you will do the same!